★ GRIT, GUMPTION, GRACE and GRATITUDE. (THE BLUE POCKETKNIFE STORY)
"Father, You know me better than anyone. Please reveal my gifts and help me use them for good in this world. Alone at 4AM, I spoke into my empty office not realizing that God was listening. Six months later, I was in Spain with the master artist Alcaraz who asked no remuneration. That's how this saga began."
DIARY p.1, Spain, July 4th 1994. "That first step was SEVEN stories long. I leaned backwards 'til I was airborne with a seasoned chief pilot in control.
"Seven bungee jumps sealed the deal. I looked outward to my life changing goals at the far corner of the cushion below. Retreat with my tail between my legs and go back down the tower? No. I jumped off the bungee tower - 7 stories, 7x's.
"At the DFW Airport I was advised to cash a traveler's check for pesetas before departure - As I stood in the queue, I realized my checks and passport were in my zippered travel pouch beneath my belt and tucked-in shirt, above my butt. A lovely young Highland Park sales lady (A divorcee) saw me in seat 22A as she came down the aisle looking for her 22B seat. Halting she blurted, 'Oh no, it's you.' In the airport exchange queue, she'd giggled her fingers under my belt to grab my large (I gasped) --- my travel pouch! The plane bucked wildly in my mind - I thought I was in a Nora Roberts bestseller in blue jeans not princely sartorial splendor. Scotch neat helped me enjoy the mile high ride even more. The sensuous woman flew on to Paris.
"Anyway, I'd marveled at our star spangled send off with fireworks shooting toward us from diamonds on a necklace from Dallas to Philly. I had a spectacular relaxed view at 33,000 feet.
July 5th 1994
"We touched down in Madrid at sunrise. I deplaned with my backpack, day pack, paints, brushes, and 10 quartered sheets of watercolor paper and was greeted with my teacher's pair of welcoming cheek kisses and an 'abrazo.' So, off to the bus terminal we scurried, led by 'Paco' (Don Francisco Alcaraz), as I knew him, and his aristocratic Brazilian lady friend. All of our stops were unplanned along a few hours of highway lined with armed, military green clad, Guardias Civiles.
"The red hillsides reminded me of my bicycle racing days in Georgia. The high of 7 bungee jumps a few days before waxed and waned as my adventure really took off. I did not view art as a career choice at any previous time, nor did I in Spain. It was a thrill. You know, just drop everything and go. Art? I'd been a freshwater biologist, with strong focus on systems, order, and innovative thinking.
"Boy Howdy. At 9:30 AM the bus snorted to a stop, burped once or twice, and my feet scuffed down shiny metal steps onto the hard red clay in my 6-ounce racing flats. Oh boy! Or, 'Boy howdy' as I had learned to say in Texas (We'd said, 'Sheesh' in Pennsylvanian).
"Saldaña de Ayllón is a small, ancient village of 30-33 permanent residents in the foothills of a ski resort. They're craftsmen, gardeners, and sheepherders - I grew up on the outskirts of a country town of less than 200 people, 28 miles from Philly - But, we had a stop sign 'downtown' by the mineral springs, AND, we had a post office! The folks in small town Blue Ridge, Texas are like that. They looked out for me when I was hung up in some hard times. That's community. Keep your noisy, crime-ridden megalopolises and metropolitan areas! I'm a small town guy.
"Why make it easy to learn something new? Paco didn't speak English. I'd taken beginner Art in 7th grade, Art Appreciation in 11th grade, and I didn't know diddly about my teacher. My last Spanish class was 22 years before. I was prepared!?!
"His Brazilian friend said Paco was an orphan at seven and at nine was the youngest in hundreds of years to be admitted to a prestigious art school. I was half listening. She added that he had labored diligently on his first assignment for two weeks to win the applause of his esteemed teacher. When Paco presented his 'gem' to the great man it exploded into the air and crashed into the hungry flames of the atelier fireplace. His teacher knew the genius of his student and flung his work into the dancing fire, demanding his best --- not effort. His very best. That was his glad to have ya here story?
"I wouldn't change anything about my past, because it's made me who I am today. You have to remember: You need to crack some eggs to make omelettes. And I did crack some eggs."
- #34 Herschel Walker, Heisman Trophy, Maxwell Award
"We walked into Saldaña de Ayllón on a dirt road past Medieval mud adobes and skirted a cathedral on Calle Alcaraz. At 10:00 AM my first painting lesson began. 'He wants you to watch him and do what he does,' his aristocratic lady friend (England-schooled and fluent in 5 languages) told me. My first painting (#1, I intentionally mislabeled #3 on the back) was of Paco's favorite landscape, the very reason why he bought that Medieval shepherd's adobe in the foothills of a ski resort ... However, it was 105° F and I was hung over by a bad case of jet lag.
"Each day the temperature swung from 3.9°C (39° F) at night to a hellish Death Valley 45°C (113+° F) by day. I slept on a rickety, swaybacked ol' sofa with tired springs in the old sub-abode sheep barn with an ancient Dutch door entry at its head and a screened open window at its feet. Supper was at midnight. Painting began at 6 AM, seven days/week.
"I struggled with sketching perspective, then cautiously, carefully, meticulously painted using ochre, cerulean blue, sap and viridian green - Hey, that's what I had on my paint tray ... And she said, 'He wants me to tell you that there are more than two colors of green, and to stand at the balcony looking down at that sapling until you tell him how many colors of green you see.' Twenty minutes later, to end the miasma, I blurted 'at least 1,000.' Paco was satisfied and I dodged another minute of blurry pain. FYI. Just 10 years before I was walking down Ben Franklin Parkway in Philly right after someone pointed out that I hadn't killed my older sister, which I blamed myself for, but hadn't anything to do with it. On that Philly day I felt the warmth of the sun, realized trees are green and the sky was blue for the first time. Wow!!! And, here I was in Spain with no idea what a color wheel is.
THE BLUE POCKETKNIFE:
"Paco beckoned with short, rugged, swollen carver's hands, clutching my pretty landscape. The lady's thick Brazilian accent intoned, 'He wants you to follow him.' I did. In his workshop (an 'atelier') I felt the crisp slap of a cold, aged, metal ruler on the face of my first masterpiece. His unfolded blue pocketknife surgically bisected my painting in one short, quick stroke. He pivoted in the doorway and returned to finish an oleo on the balcony. And, his lady friend said, 'He wants you to know you have two paintings. Go fix them.' I didn't know the summer sun could be so hot. I buried the smaller piece in a waste basket, thinking he wouldn't ask about it. He asked the next morning. I didn't retrieve it but kept the larger part and re-signed it a second time, as you might imagine.
"One night after dinner, so at about midnight, Paco opened a book of his friend Picasso's stains and traced the brushwork with his fingers as he demonstrated how the icon made them. Alcaraz hadn't read about it in a book. He'd actually been there, with Picasso. It was an experience had by a very small cadre of artists. My teacher lived an important part of art history. Teary-eyed I thought perhaps 2 or 3 artists in the last 600 years had such an opportunity. Wow!!!
"I FLEW BACK TO DALLAS August 23rd, 1994, ... "Let's jump to the end. Paco, his aristocrat lady friend, and I stood together as the oily, black exhaust of a creaking bus swept past the highway sign. As I climbed the shiny balding steps, the lady said, 'An artist is born' and like a proud papa Paco handed me his blue pocketknife. From my starboard window I saw he was crying.
"Price is what you pay, value is what you get."
- Warren Buffett
"I climbed the bungee tower at Walnut Hill thrice more, blindfolded at the bottom, as an end zone dance after I got back to Dallas, Texas. Tens of thousands of people were curious to know more about my adventures. So, I told some of the story. Suddenly, TV, radio, and the newspapers came.
Reflecting, almost 32 years later: (05.2025)
"Ya gotta have a sense of humor. You want to know how I learned? It started with 'Horrible!!!' crashing beads, and then, Jaime's flock of 600 bouncing, bleating sheep. My heart began to open allowing me to be loved, no longer an island in a lake.
"When Four-star Tommy Franks USA (Ret.) enthusiastically agreed to pen the forward to my book, I immediately went about talking with wives and children whose husbands and dads came home to them, unfamiliar, disabled, or whose dreams died with them. The open, honest stories wives, widows, children, and fatherless children told me gut-wrenching stories. I understand why my dad and others never talked about their service. I cried for Pop and his band of brothers.
I salute all who served, AND as Gen Franks pointed out, that included wives and children, moms and dads, brothers and sisters, and friends. I am here because 140 UDT-14 (Navy SEALs) kept my dad's boat, APD-78 (USS Bull, DE-693) safe, without a scratch. Thus, I paint ★ ECOTOURISM - WIP for all who serve, especially veterans. A Rear Admiral taught me to tie my shoes in our dining room. I held all Audie Murphy's medals. 750 Patriot Guard Riders watched Gen Franks unveil my painting, He First Served as a Private on the front step of his Leadership Institute and Museum at his 2nd Celebration of Freedom in Oklahoma. The owner of Armed Forces News photographed the unveiling. Franks signed AP#1 for a Hall of Fame musician who introduced me to Gen Franks. Keith Self, an 82nd Airborne, Ranger, Master Parachutist, LTC, our County Judge, now U.S. Senator, who had been on Gen Franks staff at USCENTCOM, helped me draft a proposal. Gen Franks sat on the Park Service Foundation board with David Rockefeller. Franks refused remuneration, and said he just wanted to help me; He even made a personal introduction to his former boss, former President George Bush, and put Ode to Joy in a bookcase with autobiographies by 'W,' PM Thatcher, SECDEF Rumsfeld, Gen Powell and his own American Soldier. Few artists have such experiences. I could ramble on but will stop here. Thank you for your service."
"I understand the high cost of service. Service is not subservience.
Service is first-rate, first-class teaching of the highest order.
I honor all who serve."
- Carroll
Prayer and Petition with Thanksgiving.
✅ I keep Him first.
"I'm settled and haven't burned all my matches before the end of the race. I am ready for frequent 'spring' rain, a metal roof, mor humus, red squirrels, mountains of books, rolling waves, sweeping tides, the susurrus of tidal bulrushes, howling gray wolves, snuffling black bears, huckleberry pancakes, remote rainforest trails, a small remote shoreline cottage, cool, starry nights redolent with pine, eagles, sea gulls, grazing in a research library -------- Manly scents, e.g., petitgrain, clary sage and cedarwood, and competitive youthful fitness are enjoyable. I hoped I'd find my sexy MFEO Texas beauty. After 41 years, I chartered a flight to maritime Alaska, where it rains over100 in./yr., summer highs are 60 to 67 with winter lows above 20°F. 'Fair winds and following seas.' I'm safe and secure in a cozy waterfront cottage. Don't be afraid to crack some eggs. Je t'aime ... moi non plus." 071867
- Carroll FORWARD-THINKER
"The biggest disease this day and age is that of people feeling unloved."
- Princess Diana
Carroll's Mom (1919-2008) & Dad (1916-2007)
"My doctor dad was an incredible diagnostician, as methodical and accurate as Warren Buffett. He was sought by the best and brightest MDs and PhDs who wanted to work for him, the top medical students, and patients, who came from around the world. He received several standing ovations as a medical school professor. The former Navy LTJG battlefield doctor impatiently expected obedience in life-or-death situations even as he was being cursed by dying men as he triaged survivors. His nightmares continued until he passed away at age 91. Considering his own helplessness on the battlefield, reawakened by my sister's death, he called himself, 'You stupid, worthless bastard,' Friends knew him by his moniker, 'Dr. B,' and nickname, Scotty. My mom was a successful, pioneering young woman in a male-ruled world - She was Doc Nelson's first editor and gate keeper of Nelson's North American Pediatrics, still studied by all doctors today. My mom typed and corrected all my high school term papers, e.g., an esoteric one on topology, and I got As on each of them. Mom was ΦΒΚ, worked her own way thru college and medical school after her doctor dad died, the Stock Market crashed, the Dust Bowl struck, and my mom lost her Buckskin horse. Grandma Smiley lost almost everything in Mount Vernon, SD - She was 10 y/o. Women's causes were very important to her. Mom was a Board-Certified Pediatrician then she passed the Dermatology Boards and joined my dad's practice. She taught at CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia / University of Pennsylvania, UPENN) They humored Philadelphia Inquirer writers and their readers as she carried triplets. I was a preemie, shaping my habits --- I always get my work done early and arrive early! They had 9 children.
"Growing up on our gentleman's farm, my 1st generation, Irish, freckled mom and my Catholic prep school dad loved to see the work of their hands, and man were they thorough, because it was normal and satisfying. They were low visibility, avid readers, working together, and married 60 years Each was my first teachers about service and relationship. I'm no Chuck Yeager, but I do systematically poke around until I get my vision just right in reality. I'm not a genius. I observe relationships and connect dots. Yeah, good genes gave me a head start on shortfall. My siblings clung to the family name. I did not. Poppy always demanded excellence but expected perfection. Perfection is my baseline.
"I'm Mom and Pop's second born, 1st born son --- and graduated to their experimental first child. So, they made a lot of mistakes, I watched, experienced, and learned on the front lines. My sister Helen is gone but, I'll always remember. Survivor guilt faded away! GOING FORWARD: A remote cottage, red throated loons, rain yearlong, forest bathing (森林浴), a garden, berries, bears, bikes, hikes, a H2D 100C --- Perhaps, a Kangal with a snarling 743 PSI chomp for trespassers!
"Standing for those who stood for us."
- Motto of PATRIOT GUARD RIDERS
LEFT: "YES Sir, I'm the guy with the beard and long hair --- But, you could bounce a quarter on my bunk at sunrise! I cleaned up pretty well. Well, pretty well. My attitude is clean shaven and my mop of hair trimmed."
"Don't ask if you want an elevator speech. Won't happen. I invested in drawing dissected insect anatomy, where highly-detailed accuracy was essential. DYK, 4X0 pens fit naturally in one hand with a beer in an introverted science graduate student's other on a Friday night. They're in the slideshow ART GALLERY on page one of this Website.
Richard L. Proenneke wrote, "To look around at what you have accomplished in a day gives a man a good feeling. Too many men work on parts of things. Doing a job to completeness satisfies a man." and "Eight and a half miles can be covered in minutes in a car on an expressway, but what does a man see? What he gains in time he loses in benefit to his body and mInd." and "There is always a sadness about packing. I guess you wonder if where you're going is as good as where you've been." and "When the time comes for a man to look his Maker in the eye, where better could the meeting be held than in the wilderness?" One Man's Wilderness: An Alaskan Odyssey.
SEE: www.nps.gov/lacl/learn/historyculture/richard-l-proenneke.htm
Carroll matriculated in the Junior Curator's Club at the Academy of Natural Sciences of Philadelphia as a 5-year-old, when he was collecting insects and making Riker mounts; He had a compound microscope and chemistry set and a passion for nature walks, bike riding, and a no nonsense yet, lavish, nattily kept lifestyle.
"My dad paid me $0.20 cents an hour straw bossing 3 college kids on our farm in 1968. While in college in Minnesota, Jay shipped me his aquatic insect specimens to do the identifications. ANSP paid me $8/hr. more than 50 years ago (More than $250/hr. in 2023 money). It's time for another quantum pay raise!"
He received a Swiss Wild Heerbrugg M5 Stereo Microscope as an early graduation present at Stroud Water Research Center where he worked, Stroud is the preeminent think tank studying river ecosystems, founded in 1967. He chose his college based on the portraits of Nobel Laureates lining the corridors of Nobel Hall at Gustavus Adolphus College. Carroll was a microbio lab tech on C-14 studies of leaf decomposition in a 2nd order Piedmont stream and an aquatic insect taxonomist with Jay Richardson on EPA environmental surveys of insect species, because of their high sensitivity to water pollution. Stroud was Carroll's first job as a college junior and afterward.
Carroll loved entering the old mecca of science walking past the full-body statue of Joe Leidy, a University of Pennsylvania MD, examining a fossilized jawbone. Beforehand, The Burgoons moved to a horse farm 10 miles beyond Valley Forge NP. Carroll's best friend was the son of a former Navy CPO and small animal (dogs and cats) veterinarian., who matriculated at MIT as a 10y/o (Acc. to Carroll's mom). The long commute ended the boys' 7-year friendship.
I was recommended to DuPont by Jay (We did a 24-hour drift study and Dr. Patrick flew down to dine with us. --- I still remember bending a lemon peel over the table candle to flame the phenolics for her delight.) DuPont offered to pay for my doctoral studies at UGA if I accepted their offer of a job at their Savannah River National Laboratory; I declined. Instead, I did Master's studies at UGA w/o GREs (I saw Dooley's Dogs pound 'Bama in Sanford Stadium), then left to work at ANSP --- Later, the Dallas Morning News talked with The Rose Lady (A Realtor) who quipped, "We agree on one thing, and he comes back with something better." Paraphrased. "Hey, I grew up on Rebel Hill overlooking the Conshohocken Calvary Cemetery. Old habit, I guess."
"My second 1040 job was Principal Investigator for BP, P&G, Scott Paper, Washington, D.C.'s water and utilities as a staffer in Limnology and Ecology at the Academy of Natural Sciences of Philadelphia (ANSP). Founded in 1812 by businessmen, clergy, scientists, and high society, it's the Western Hemisphere's oldest natural history museum --- Today, ANSP is Academy of Natural Sciences of Drexell University . "Harvard PhD, Invertebrate Section Leader, Limnology and Ecology, Samuel LH Fuller, at the Academy of Natural Sciences hired me over a few brews in the backyard of a hole-in-the-wall Philly restaurant. I told him I wouldn't continue any approved methodologies his former PIs employed. I replaced the two gentlemen leaving for U Penn grad school. Sam gave me his complete support. Don't ask me how to interview 'cause I don't know --- Oops. I wore jeans and a yellow Kliban T-shirt ("I loves to eat them mousies, mousies whats I love to eat ..." I was paid for 35 hrs/wk but worked 90 to 140 hrs (My choice) to make every deadline. The head librarian let me thumb through Carl Linnaeus' 1st Ed of Systema Naturae (1758). Fluvial Processes was seminal to understanding early instar and nymphal distributions. From a Japanese butterfly publication, I saw how to identify instars 1 to 5 and pupae of Hydropsychids to species. I find good ideas just poking around and connecting the dots. My curiousity assures I have a good time and never hear the dinner bell ring."
Carroll studies trees in winter to paint them in spring, summer, autumn, and winter - All species have distinctive branching and bark. The leaves (Patterns, arrangement, margins and venation) come later. Trees are not a stick with a ball on top. All trees are individually recognizable with common characteristics. Listen to Vivaldi's The Four Seasons. Light, lines, depth, and perspective are compositional aspects. You can hear the flitting butterflies and the blooming of flowers. Then, trees can be sticks with balls on top. THE FINEST ART COMPLIES WITH THIS OBSERVATION.
"Chopping wood & carrying water. Loving adventurous living."
TIGER
ကျား 老虎 tigre Harimau 호랑이 ਟਾਈਗਰ 虎 चीता Con hổ Taika
Oh, the stories to tell! Start with Ranthambore and Valmik Thapar and Fateh Singh Rathore's son, tiger conservationists. Start with my favorite stuffed toy, Samson the tiger, as a five-year-old.
A tiger's stripes are its fingerprint.
"Concentration is relaxing and playing in the adventures of life.
Concentration is what happens when you are an artist in life."
- Carroll